My First Foo

If it were any other day, I would have been throwing a SHIT FIT. 

It’s not my idea of fun to have to haul ass through the city, wearing  50lb rain boots, trying to make a train , and carefully dodge all the jack-wagon bus drivers that purposefully  plow through the monstrous puddles just to see if you’re  paying attention.  Even more ridiculous is the dance that New Yorkers do while walking with their umbrellas through a crowd.  Thunder.  Lightning.  Times Square.  Tourists.  Wet pants.  Hungry. Sober.  Not a good scenario.

But I stayed unbelievably calm. In fact, I was smiling. It didn’t matter to me that my hair looked like I’d just had a bad 80’s perm.  It didn’t matter to me that my jeans were sticking to my legs like glue covered saran wrap.  It didn’t matter to me that I had trudged into the city on this awful, shitty, dreary day to be doused with buckets of water and subjected to the stench that is Penn Station. I was also doing all of this solo. Could be considered a BIG FAIL in some circles.  But not mine. I had just had one the BEST days that I’ve had in a VERY long time.

It was a day off from work, the kids were in school, and I had my mind made up.  After receiving a phone call from Margie( AKA bad-ass mom of the year) informing me that I had been put on the list for standby tickets  for Letterman, I flipped out, chugged a pot of coffee, bathed myself in record time, and got a train to NYC.

You would have thought that I was on my way to claim a bazillion dollar lottery ticket. I was giddy, nervous, freaked out, anxious, and just downright EXCITED as hell. And as much as I would love a good lottery story, that wasn’t the case at all. I was just going to be another schmuck in line for standby tickets. STANDBY, which as we all know, means there is no guarantee what so ever  that  your sorry ass will even get through the door. But I was determined. Determined to get through those doors and see the Foo Fighters.

My Foo Fighters history is long and sorted, and would probably bore the hair right off of most people’s heads. (Not counting, of course, the people in my life who are also fond of the Foo.)  BUT as most of you know, I’m a sucker for telling stories, and this one is no exception. But before I go any further, take a few moments to keep these things in mind:

1)When I set my mind on something..I become a bit on the obsessive side. ( I can actually HEAR a few of you laughing right now.)  But given this fact, it usually yields results.

2)I have wanted to see the Foo Fighters live for YEARS, and because of sorted reasons or disasters, I’ve never been able to. Too far. Couldn’t afford it.  Had to work. The kids were barfing.Tickets sold out in 1 millisecond…blah freakin’ blah.  Although it did cross my mind to go to a gig when I was 6 months pregnant with my twins.  I figured that someone would take pity on my super sized appearance and let me get up close. But then reality set in, and decided that the chances of going into labor outweighed the head banging that I really wanted to do.

3) I’m one of those people who, when passionate about something, compares it to EVERYTHING. You could be talking about the turkey club sandwich that you made for lunch and I will somehow find a way to relate it back to the Foo Fighters. That’s just how I am.  I’ve done this with other bands as well. Duran Duran is one of them. A fan for 20+ years, they were my idols. I grew up worshiping them, and as an adult, I still absolutely love everything that they do. I talk about them CONSTANTLY.  I saw them live for the first time in 2004..the original 5…and I screamed so loud that my husband walked away. To this day he claims that he had to use the restroom, but I know the truth.  Since then, I’ve seen them play a ton of shows, both private and public, and have  met all of them, excluding Andy, who is no longer a member.   (And NO, I don’t care what you think of Duran Duran.) Which leads to #4

4)I am not just passionate about BANDS, or a “groupie” as I have been called many times. Look up groupie in the dictionary people, I don’t want to bang the band members. I’m not even the delusional type that  believes that we will all be friends one day. And may I remind you..I’VE NEVER SEEN A FOO FIGHTERS SHOW.   I’m just a sucker for music and all that it encompasses.  But more specifically, it becomes a part of my life. A part of ME.  And I’m sure that some would argue that if you become that involved with something that it starts to take precedence. NOT THE CASE. I’m taking something that makes me feel good, taking something that that makes me HAPPY, taking something that I ENJOY, and making a place for it in my life. I’m a wife, a mother, a friend, a hard worker, a daughter, a million different things, but just because I’m a FAN of something doesn’t mean that one outweighs the other. More importantly, my friends and family are supportive of this. Why wouldn’t they be? Nothing makes me happier than to see anyone in my life with their face lit up from excitement. I expect nothing less from those who surround me.

5) Recently, and I would say within the past 6 months or so, I’ve opened a new chapter in the book of Jules. This new chapter has me going in a new direction.  This new chapter has me doing the things that I’ve always wanted to do.  In the simplest of terms..I’ve lived a great life, there’s no question about it. But for a long time the setbacks seemed to outnumber the progress, and I became a very skeptical, very scared, very pessimistic person, and ultimately, I was unwilling to take any chances.  And NOW, just a few months following my 40^th birthday, I look back on some of the possibilities that I have let pass in my life and I just CRINGE.  Even more cringe worthy are the REASONS I came up with to pass on these opportunities. I’m just SO TIRED of feeling like I CAN’T do things, when the reality is..if circumstances allow you…JUST FUCKING DO IT.  

And so we come to Tuesday, April 12^th..the day I stood in the pouring rain outside the Letterman studios, waiting to see if they had a seat for me.  And I’m not stupid, here I am ranting and raving about taking chances in life, and doing things that you wouldn’t normally do, and just go for it garbage….I KNOW.  We’re talking about a freakin’  Foo Fighters show, not the chance to backpack across Europe or have lunch with the President. But that’s the point! This is something that I would have, in recent past, talked myself out of.  I can hear the ramblings in my head..”You don’t need to go…it’s just a show..you’ll be alone..is it really worth it...there will be another time..”

NOT. THIS. TIME. I knew that if I didn’t go I would drive myself, and everyone around me, NUTS for the next 10 years.  And DAMMIT, I am so goddam glad I went. The fresh faced intern holding the standby tickets eventually DID let me in, and I sat all but about 20 ft. from the stage. David Letterman was AWESOME. But words cannot describe the way I felt when I saw Dave Grohl peek around the corner of the stage, and then walk out, as confident as ever, and stand right in front of me, with a giant smile on his face.  I will forever try and replay in my head those few moments that they started to play and my mind just sort of STOPPED.  I had always imagined that I would EVENTUALLY see them play live somewhere.  Summer tour maybe..MSG…PNC Arts Center.  I’m in Jersey..they were bound to be around again. But to sit in this small studio…just a spit away from them…was NOT something that ever crossed my mind.  And then…my god…they came back out after the show was finished taping, and did a little birthday tribute for Letterman..they played his favorite song for him, which is “Everlong.”  For reasons that are very personal , and quite haunting, this song has ALWAYS been my favorite.  At that point, I took an imaginary pencil out and wrote down in my head..”Remember this Jul..something like this will NEVER Happen again.”    

So, “What is the point of this story?” you ask. I’m not really sure.  And while I HATE the whole “LOL” thing , I really and truly am laughing out loud right now, because when it comes right down to it,I’m not completely sure I HAVE A POINT.  My fingers keep punching the keys, and my brain keeps telling me what to say, but none of it really makes sense. But these things I am 100% sure of:

I set out to do something last week, and I DID IT.  And anyone who knows me, you understand why that was such a big thing for me.  I feel like I’ve let a bit of the TRUE JULES thing slip away from me lately, and I don’t like it..NOT ONE BIT.

This day meant more to me than most could probably understand. 

I saw the Foo Fighters play live for the FIRST TIME in an intimate setting. I ended up literally bumping into not 1, but 2 of the band members and getting photos with them with a big giant shit eating grin on my face.   All of this was done as a last minute decision.  I am proud of myself for doing what I wanted to do and not  worrying about anything else.  For the first time, in a LONG time, I let all of my anxiety and worries take a backseat and I flew by the seat of my (very uncomfortable low rise) pants.

And I feel that this is just the beginning.

 

Watch out Dave Grohl..I’m coming for you. 

Just kidding.

 

 Kind of.